Jul 152014
 

You may have noticed there’s a little unrest in the Middle East at the moment. Crazy right? It’s usually such a tranquil, peace-loving zone. Apparently recent tensions have spilled over into violence due to low worldwide sales of Robin Thicke’s new album “Paula”. Maybe it’s the internet talking but apparently the Jews in America run all the big music labels and after really bad opening week album sales they asked Israel to create a distraction… Sounds legit. 
Robin Thicke’s previous release “Blurred Lines” went platinum worldwide because it featured professional hat-rack Pharrel Williams and that popular “consent is for fags” message, but this new release is rolling donuts all over the planet. Personally, I hate when bad things happen to good people and that’s why Robin Thicke’s utter failure makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Only 54 copies Of Robin’s album sold in it’s first week here in Oz…. I sold more copies of my newly released comedy album than this ass clown did. (album available for purchase right here at www.jbcomedy.net, Yewwww!). 
A quick history of Robin… His father is Growing Pains actor Alan Thicke who obviously fucked a Sunglass Hutt 42 yrs ago and Robin arrived in a FedEx box 9 months later. He’s pretty much gotten everywhere cus of family connections, and I know some of you would defend his first big hit “Blurred Lines” by saying it’s catchy… You know what else is catchy? Herpes. Whatever happened to music being applauded because it was good. There’s a song by Tool called Lateralus, go YouTube it, it’s a work of art. It’s 9 minutes in length, and because no radio DJ could go that long without spewing audible Chlamydia into your skull not many know of its splendor. Commercial pop music has widdled the attention spans of this planet down to that of a 3 yr old in a hall of mirrors. Top 40 music has never sucked more and Thicke’s low album sales is a glimpse of hope in a sea of fuck…. Eat shit Robin, you fuckin nothing.

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